Christmas was only three months after you died,
I don’t know how I survived,
The thought of no presents for you under the tree,
Emotionally brought me to my knees.
I had artwork framed that you had done,
Beautiful images from our son,
And ordered an afghan with your picture and a poem,
To wrap up in while I’m at home.
I found ornaments for you with special meaning,
Lovely angels and bright stars gleaming,
Memorial items for the house,
To feel your presence all about.
I was still Christmas shopping for you,
Without consciously meaning to,
Finding some comfort for the anguish within,
Working desperately not to give in.
Two years later I am making progress,
For you I can do no less,
Working to accept each day,
And to understand my life this way.
Change is inevitable, that is true,
But how could I expect losing you?
I have to accept what I cannot change,
Because life will never be the same.
Love is the constant to depend on,
Whether in this world or beyond,
The physical body dies,
But love survives.
So, as the holidays draw near again,
Feel the love to you I send,
And bless you with gratitude and cheer,
For the time that you were here.