Happy Birthday, Graham

Today is Graham's birthday.  My treasured son would be 27 years old.  What a blessing it is to be his mother and to have had him with us for 22 years.  Graham is helping me learn that relationships don't end when the body dies.  Love is the greatest power.  We are eternally connected with our loved ones.  This is what brings me my greatest comfort.   Happy birthday, Graham.  Thank you for being my son.  Our love is always and forever.

Never Far Away

My husband and I decided to go out for dinner tonight.  We went to a local restaurant where we  enjoyed a very good meal.   My husband commented that he thought the atmosphere was pleasant, and  that the music the restaurant was playing wasn't too loud or annoying like music can be at some restaurants.  I agreed and focused more on the song that was playing as he said this.  I kept hearing the line, never far away.  I didn't recognize this song.  When we returned home we were able to find this song on youtube.  I was amazed and delighted with this meaningful song as I listened and read the lyrics.  Graham's birthday is in a few days.  I believe this song was a message of love he wanted his mom and dad to hear at a particularly bittersweet time of the year. Thank you, Graham.  You always let us know that you are never far away. 

My son's birthday would have been three days from when I originally posted this last night.  I'm adding this edit because I believe that Graham wanted to give his mom and dad this message of love at this particularly bittersweet time of year.  I went to bed last night with this thought in mind.  At 1:23 AM this morning my husband and I were awakened with 4 doorbell rings from our motion activated alarm in the basement!  The alarm bells have gone off at different times since Graham died, often around significant dates. When it first happened we were frightened that someone was in our basement.  Now we know that it is Graham letting his presence be known.  I think that Graham wanted to make doubly sure that we received his message.

"Never Far Away" by Rush of Fools:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBmGwS0lBus

Love to You in Heaven

Peace to you my darling,
And love and joy and light,
May everything you experience in Heaven,
Bring you pleasure and delight.

I blow you loving kisses,
Imagining them with wings,
I see you smiling as you receive them,
With all the love they bring.

All I ever wanted,
As your mother while you were here,
Was for you to be happy,
As you grew from year to year.

Heaven is not where I imagined,
That you would now be,
I thought you would remain on earth,
Sharing your life with me.

Thoughts and dreams and lifetime plans,
Are more fragile than we know,
In a moment our dearest wishes,
May vanish like melting snow.

Living here is what is difficult,
I know that you are fine,
Thank you for the precious gift,
For the time that you were mine.

Jenn Bostic's "Jealous of the Angels"

Here is a wonderful picture of an angel that Graham took at the Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia.  It is a great picture to use with this lovely song.   Yes, Graham, I am jealous of the angels.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBg9btpGqKU&feature=youtu.be

Second Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference

I just returned home after a wonderful weekend at the Second Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference in Virginia Beach, organized by Terri Daniel.  It was a great weekend filled with love and inspiration.  The conference was divided into three main areas of interest, bereavement, spiritual exploration, and academic study and scientific research into the afterlife.  Some of the leading figures in these areas presented fascinating information and workshops.  I'd recommend that you seriously consider attending next year's conference if you can.  The two locations being considered for the third Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference next spring are St. Louis, Missouri, and Portland, Oregon.  My book was available for sale at the conference book store.

A Favorite Store

Here I am pictured with my book, "A Mother's Tears- Poems of Heartbreak, Loss, and Discovery" in my favorite store in Richmond-Alchemists Books and Gifts.  

Home Page - Alchemists Books and Gifts

www.alchemistsbooksandgifts.com

Resource center for relaxation, stress relief and self-empowerment, with books,inspirational gifts,unique jewelry and other tools for transformation.

 

 

Grieving Mothers

Grieving mothers with broken hearts,

Living lives that have been torn apart,

Struggling to take each day as it comes,

Mourning the loss of their treasured ones.

Isolated, feeling overwhelmed and alone,

Longing for children who will never come home,

Wondering constantly as to why,

They are a mother who had their child die.

It’s a world turned upside down,

Nothing can be done to change it around,

Wanting yesterday, not the lives they have now,

If it could only be possible somehow.

Love is the comfort, love doesn’t end,

Love is the constant on which to depend,

Eternally connected with a mother child bond,

Love gives the strength for mothers to live on.

The Price of Love

Grief is the price of love,
A risk most willingly take,
For love outweighs our fears,
And chance for future heartache.

We do not see the pitfalls,
Or imagine death and gloom,
We focus on our happiness,
Not a life that could end too soon.

This is as it should be,
For us to focus on each day,
Not worry about the future,
Or dreams that may go away.

To appreciate all the moments,
That bring us joy and smiles,
For love is the greatest of all gifts,
And makes our lives worthwhile.

The Wounded Heart

     This picture is of a pendant on a lovely necklace I recently bought.  It is poignantly significant to me.  Dawn Pierro, of Turtle Moon Designs, made this unique handmade piece.  I feel this broken heart that has been stitched back together beautifully illustrates my thoughts in this poem.  The feather with the heart is also personally meaningful to me.

Two opposite emotions now reside,
Within my heart side by side,
A partnership I didn’t seek,
Often leaving me vulnerable and weak.

One emotion is sheer joy,
For the gift of my precious boy,
The other emotion is deep sorrow,
Because we will share no more tomorrows.

A bittersweet pairing, a constant ache,
The death of a child is true heartbreak,
Love and memories help stitch the heart together,
But the wound remains forever.
 

Valentine Love

We Remember Them

Yesterday I attended the Bereaved Parents of the USA Northern Virginia chapter's annual Service of Remembrance. This year it was held in February. It seems very appropriate when thoughts turn more to love and remembrance in this month of the year. It was a very special evening of the heart. Red roses were sponsored in memory of our beloved children. We remember them always.

We Remember Them
From Gates of Prayer, Reform Jewish Prayerbook

In the rising of the sun and its going down,
We remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
We will remember them.

In the opening buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer,
We remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We will remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,
We will remember them.

When we are lost and are sick of heart,
We remember them.

When we have Joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are now a part of us,
As we remember them. 

Always and Forever

     I had a feeling that my always and forever message I felt I received from Graham a few days ago (see post immediately below) would turn into a poem.  I am pleased to say it did!  Here is the poem with a picture of Graham and me taken on Mother's Day in 2006. 

 Imagine me as just around the corner,

Or in the room next door,

For I am here beside you,

Look for me no more.

You feel as if I have gone,

And in the physical sense this is true,

My body is no longer here,

But I am still with you.

You can feel me with each heartbeat,

And picture me in your mind,

Your thoughts bring me to you,

I can be with you at any time.

Do not hesitate to speak to me,

I hear everything you say,

We can still have conversations,

Every single day.

Hear me as I whisper,

Softly in your ears,

Love is always and forever,

Cry for me no tears.

Always and Forever message of love

I had the most wonderful messages from my son, Graham, today! I am always amazed and grateful how our loved ones in spirit manage to get their messages across to us. I was at the mall. I entered the Hallmark store with the intention of buying a card. As I was walking to the card section I somehow noticed a mug. The mug caught my eye because it was white with the word Always written in red with a red heart beside it. I kept looking at it because the word Always is very significant to me. I have a personalized license plate on my car that says Always. I picked the mug up and was further surprised when I saw the inside of the mug was red with the word Forever written in white with a white heart beside it! As I was wondering about this I then realized the song playing in the store was "Somewhere Over the Rainbow!" I just started crying. There was no doubt that it was Graham letting me know that our love keeps us connected forever. It was so special with Valentine's Day around the corner. I feel another poem in the works. It will be called, "Always and Forever." Valentine love to us all and to our loved ones on the other side!

An Inexplicable Sign

While driving one day a couple of years ago my husband wanted to play one of our CD's. We discovered there was a mix up. The wrong CD was in the case. When we got home we looked on our entertainment center shelf of CDs for the case for the CD. We couldn't believe it when we found it. The CD cover was really warped! There was no way for this to happen when it was on a shelf with our other CDs away from any heat sources. Why was it the particular case that we were looking for? There is no logical explanation for this. We feel the answer is definitely other worldly! Graham's way of saying, I'm here! Here is a picture of the cover.