Graham's Memorial Water Garden

Five years ago Graham did a lot of work for my husband and me in a section of our back yard.  A few months later this section of our yard became Graham's memorial garden.  I posted pictures of Graham and a poem that I wrote about this earlier on this blog -
http://amotherstears.blogspot.com/2010/05/with-us-in-spirit.html

Last week Graham's memorial garden became even more special.  We had it transformed into a beautiful water garden with the addition of two lovely waterfalls and a koi pond.  The azalea bushes, day lilies, and phlox that were originally planted are all still there, they were just rearranged.  We are delighted with this water feature!  Graham always thought a pond would be nice to have in our yard.  He also liked the idea of having koi fish.  What a wonderful, healing connection this is with Graham.  It is an oasis of solace for us.

The Honey Trees - Love and Loss

This is a poignantly beautiful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2k2nvD0VmA

We had our house built and moved to Fredericksburg in April of 2005, 7 years ago. One of the first things that Graham did when we moved in was to plant several of his apple trees in our back yard. As part of a Biology class project his senior year in high school Graham had to grow something. He decided to plant the seeds from an apple that he ate for this project. Graham took care of these seeds in the Biology lab at his high school. Amazingly, they grew. They looked like twigs when he brought them home at the end of the year. They stayed in pots for the following year until we moved to our new home. This is a picture of Graham in April of 2007 pruning one of his trees. The trees had never bloomed. Graham died 5 months after this picture was taken. The following spring his apple trees had blossoms for the first time! Now it is April 2012. Look at this same tree now. It is 8-10 feet tall and covered with blooms! Who could have realized what a precious gift these trees would turn out to be? Thank you, Graham. You are always with us. We love you.

I Hear You

I Hear You

I can hear you in silence,

Or in confusion and noise,

I hear you now and forever,

In life’s tragedies and joys.

I listen for you always,

 Although I cannot see,

Your physical self as before,

When you were here with me.

You speak to me in whispers,

In thoughts that cross my mind,

Or in flashes of inspiration,

With words that flow and rhyme.

Your signs and validations,

The messages I receive,

Ignite my creative energies,

And help me as I grieve.

Love is never ending,

Our bodies are only form,

You are teaching this important lesson,

For those of us who mourn.

With your partnership in spirit,

I am finding solace for my pain,

Love is always the answer,

 The destination for us to aim.

You are a blessing beyond measure,

My treasured son and friend,

You show that crossing over,

Does not mean a relationship ends.

Love is like a circle,

In joy we both will fly,

We are bonded forever,

Because a soul can never die.

Message From My Computer

 This is a write up I did a few days ago for the Facebook group "Signs From Our Loved Ones" - https://www.facebook.com/groups/223805824358789/.  This is a very helpful, supportive group for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.

Wow! I believe that I just had another wonderful message from my son, Graham.  This time it was on my computer!   It brought me to tears.  Graham's birthday is tomorrow.  I am so grateful, especially at this bittersweet time, that he is showing his continued presence and love in my life.   I double clicked on my computer to wake it up and this picture is what appeared on the screen from the Angels Across the USA Facebook page - https://www.facebook.com/angelsacrosstheusa.  This design is made of pictures of Graham for a slide show that Angels Across the USA is presenting during their 2012 tour events. I wasn't on their Facebook page today, and would have had to search for their page and then search for Graham's slide among the many they have there to find it.  I am amazed. What a wonderful gift!

Happy Birthday, Graham

Today is Graham's birthday.  My treasured son would be 27 years old.  What a blessing it is to be his mother and to have had him with us for 22 years.  Graham is helping me learn that relationships don't end when the body dies.  Love is the greatest power.  We are eternally connected with our loved ones.  This is what brings me my greatest comfort.   Happy birthday, Graham.  Thank you for being my son.  Our love is always and forever.

Never Far Away

My husband and I decided to go out for dinner tonight.  We went to a local restaurant where we  enjoyed a very good meal.   My husband commented that he thought the atmosphere was pleasant, and  that the music the restaurant was playing wasn't too loud or annoying like music can be at some restaurants.  I agreed and focused more on the song that was playing as he said this.  I kept hearing the line, never far away.  I didn't recognize this song.  When we returned home we were able to find this song on youtube.  I was amazed and delighted with this meaningful song as I listened and read the lyrics.  Graham's birthday is in a few days.  I believe this song was a message of love he wanted his mom and dad to hear at a particularly bittersweet time of the year. Thank you, Graham.  You always let us know that you are never far away. 

My son's birthday would have been three days from when I originally posted this last night.  I'm adding this edit because I believe that Graham wanted to give his mom and dad this message of love at this particularly bittersweet time of year.  I went to bed last night with this thought in mind.  At 1:23 AM this morning my husband and I were awakened with 4 doorbell rings from our motion activated alarm in the basement!  The alarm bells have gone off at different times since Graham died, often around significant dates. When it first happened we were frightened that someone was in our basement.  Now we know that it is Graham letting his presence be known.  I think that Graham wanted to make doubly sure that we received his message.

"Never Far Away" by Rush of Fools:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBmGwS0lBus

Love to You in Heaven

Peace to you my darling,
And love and joy and light,
May everything you experience in Heaven,
Bring you pleasure and delight.

I blow you loving kisses,
Imagining them with wings,
I see you smiling as you receive them,
With all the love they bring.

All I ever wanted,
As your mother while you were here,
Was for you to be happy,
As you grew from year to year.

Heaven is not where I imagined,
That you would now be,
I thought you would remain on earth,
Sharing your life with me.

Thoughts and dreams and lifetime plans,
Are more fragile than we know,
In a moment our dearest wishes,
May vanish like melting snow.

Living here is what is difficult,
I know that you are fine,
Thank you for the precious gift,
For the time that you were mine.

Jenn Bostic's "Jealous of the Angels"

Here is a wonderful picture of an angel that Graham took at the Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia.  It is a great picture to use with this lovely song.   Yes, Graham, I am jealous of the angels.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBg9btpGqKU&feature=youtu.be

Second Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference

I just returned home after a wonderful weekend at the Second Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference in Virginia Beach, organized by Terri Daniel.  It was a great weekend filled with love and inspiration.  The conference was divided into three main areas of interest, bereavement, spiritual exploration, and academic study and scientific research into the afterlife.  Some of the leading figures in these areas presented fascinating information and workshops.  I'd recommend that you seriously consider attending next year's conference if you can.  The two locations being considered for the third Annual Afterlife Awareness Conference next spring are St. Louis, Missouri, and Portland, Oregon.  My book was available for sale at the conference book store.

A Favorite Store

Here I am pictured with my book, "A Mother's Tears- Poems of Heartbreak, Loss, and Discovery" in my favorite store in Richmond-Alchemists Books and Gifts.  

Home Page - Alchemists Books and Gifts

www.alchemistsbooksandgifts.com

Resource center for relaxation, stress relief and self-empowerment, with books,inspirational gifts,unique jewelry and other tools for transformation.

 

 

Grieving Mothers

Grieving mothers with broken hearts,

Living lives that have been torn apart,

Struggling to take each day as it comes,

Mourning the loss of their treasured ones.

Isolated, feeling overwhelmed and alone,

Longing for children who will never come home,

Wondering constantly as to why,

They are a mother who had their child die.

It’s a world turned upside down,

Nothing can be done to change it around,

Wanting yesterday, not the lives they have now,

If it could only be possible somehow.

Love is the comfort, love doesn’t end,

Love is the constant on which to depend,

Eternally connected with a mother child bond,

Love gives the strength for mothers to live on.

The Price of Love

Grief is the price of love,
A risk most willingly take,
For love outweighs our fears,
And chance for future heartache.

We do not see the pitfalls,
Or imagine death and gloom,
We focus on our happiness,
Not a life that could end too soon.

This is as it should be,
For us to focus on each day,
Not worry about the future,
Or dreams that may go away.

To appreciate all the moments,
That bring us joy and smiles,
For love is the greatest of all gifts,
And makes our lives worthwhile.

The Wounded Heart

     This picture is of a pendant on a lovely necklace I recently bought.  It is poignantly significant to me.  Dawn Pierro, of Turtle Moon Designs, made this unique handmade piece.  I feel this broken heart that has been stitched back together beautifully illustrates my thoughts in this poem.  The feather with the heart is also personally meaningful to me.

Two opposite emotions now reside,
Within my heart side by side,
A partnership I didn’t seek,
Often leaving me vulnerable and weak.

One emotion is sheer joy,
For the gift of my precious boy,
The other emotion is deep sorrow,
Because we will share no more tomorrows.

A bittersweet pairing, a constant ache,
The death of a child is true heartbreak,
Love and memories help stitch the heart together,
But the wound remains forever.