Contemplations

Sometimes I think I should be,
In a nunnery,
Its name "Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrows,"
Because that's how I see my tomorrows.

Endless days of pain and grief,
Hard to imagine any relief,
As each new day dawns,
I don't know how I manage to go on.

Every day since you died,
I have cried,
The tears cannot seem to stop,
So devastated by your loss.

Thoughts  of a life of contemplation,
If it could bring some consolation,
Has a certain appeal,
When life feels so unreal.

But I have other family that need me,
So I am working not to be,
Bound by chains of heartache,
For all of our sakes.

We don't have to live in isolation,
To find compensation,
And I think we must reach out,
To others that need help.

As time moves along,
I gradually feel more strong,
The fear is wondering when,
It's possible to feel happy again.

And that somehow if I do,
It will diminish the importance of you;
A mother doesn't want to let go,
It goes against every instinct she knows.

But in the mourning process if we open to hope,
Somehow managing to cope,
We can by surrendering what we want to keep,
Find that which we seek.

Healing for our broken hearts,
Comfort to know we are never truly apart,
Spirit as symbolized by the dove,
And above all else, love.