Angel Chimes

I have angel chimes by my front door,
With words that I am hoping for,
Peace and love and serenity,
All the qualities I pray for me.

When the chimes are gently ringing,
I believe angels are bringing,
Healing energies to ground and center,
To everyone that will enter.

How grateful I am to know the divine,
Is surrounding us all the time,
When we open and believe,
There are many gifts that we’ll receive.

I welcome in this flow of chi,
With all the positive energy,
So that my house is filled with love,
Blessings from the angels above.

Hummingbird

     After a couple of years trying to get a hummingbird picture at our feeder in the back yard, we finally had a good opportunity yesterday, and my husband got this shot when one flew to our hanging basket.  I thought it would be a perfect image for this poem.

Tiny hummingbird flying by,
A flash of color in the sky,
With the blurred beating of your little wings,
What is the message that you bring?

The beauty in life is what you remind us of,
And to appreciate the things we love,
To move forward, not looking back,
So we don’t focus on what we lack.

You also help us to feel joy inside,
Gratitude for being alive,
To savor each moment and to open our hearts,
Searching for the sweetness that life can impart.

What a beautiful winged messenger to see,
With wonderful symbology,
Thank you hummingbird, for showing us the way,
To find happiness in each new day.

A Path Paved With Tears

Anyone who has lost a child can tell,
What it’s like to be in Hell,
Torment becomes a part of you,
A new familiar in all you do.

As we struggle through the years,
Our path is paved with many tears,
We pray that we will find relief,
From this pain of constant grief.

If we are lucky in our family and friends,
They share their love to help us mend,
But often focused on issues of their own,
They leave us feeling even more alone.

Most people do not reach out,
Not caring or thinking how they can help,
A simple I’m sorry, or I think about you,
Is more than they can manage to do.

Our children’s names are seldom spoken,
Which makes us even more heartbroken,
Because our children are not physically here,
Doesn’t make them any less dear.

We all need to think about love and sharing,
And ways to show compassion and caring,
A warm hug, or a caring smile,
Help make life feel more worthwhile.

If we learn to open our hearts,
Realizing we are all a part,
Of a common greater whole,
Love would nourish our souls.

An Angel's Kiss

Give your worries, sorrows or fears,
To the angels because they hear,
Feel the heavenly brushing of their wings,
With the divine love that they bring.

I do not want to miss,
The whisper of an angel’s kiss,
Or a sign they send to me,
When in faith I believe.

Catch my teardrops when I cry,
I know you watch from on high,
When my pain is too much to bear,
Wrap me in your wings of care.

In the stillness help me find,
The peace that comes from the divine,
And surrender into a sea of love,
Gifts from the angels above.

Do Not Cry

     I wrote this today.  This past week was particularly hard for me for a number of reasons.  Thank you, Graham, for this message.  You are the "wind beneath my wings."  I love you more than my words can say.

Close your eyes and go to sleep,
I am with you mother, do not weep,
Place your hand upon your heart,
My hand is there too, never apart.

Feel the love I have for you,
And the strength to see you through,
I am with you every day,
Helping you to find your way.

No more sorrow, smile for me,
I want to see you living happily,
Our love is forever, love doesn’t die,
Please mother, do not cry.

Remember our years with joy and smiles,
Every moment was so worthwhile,
Only partially separated for a brief time,
Our hearts remain forever entwined.

Never Forgotten

Although your earthly time is done,
You will never be forgotten, my son,
I will love you forever,
And honor and remember.

As long as I live, you will live too,
You are part of all I do,
You share my heartbeats, share my breath,
What is this thing called death?

When I shed my body, I will gladly fly,
To that glorious kingdom in the sky,
Knowing you are waiting for me,
Brings me a sense of serenity.

I will do my best with my remaining years,
Working through my pain and tears,
To rediscover inner peace and joy,

Until we’re reunited, my precious boy.

Music of the Soul

We cry for ourselves, not loved ones gone,
They are happy in the great beyond,
No more burdens, heartache or stress,
They live in a state of pure happiness.

It’s those of us left behind,
Who struggle with the concept of time,
On this planet of pain and tears,
Learning and growing through the years.

What a blessing you were to me,
Like a magnificent symphony,
With haunting passages of turbulent lows,
Mixed with brilliant crescendos.

Across the pages lines of notes play,
But then abruptly go away,
A symphony of the story of you,
My wonderful son of twenty-two.

What movement would be playing now,
If you were still here somehow?
A work of such hope and promise,
With so much more to accomplish.

My darling son,
Your earthly work must have been done,
You are now a more brilliant light,
Just beyond earthly sight.

Composing more passages on another plane,
With knowledge earned through joy and pain,
The music of your soul will always flow,
In our hearts this we know.

Listening with our inner ear,
The melody is very clear,
We will strive to overcome our sorrow,
In God’s promise of a joyous tomorrow.

A House of Broken Dreams

A house of boards and beams,
Built with so many hopes and dreams,
A family endeavor in which we all had our parts,
A vision so dear to our hearts.

Like waiting for a baby to come,
It took nine months until the house was done,
It was so exciting to wait for the day,
We could move in and stay.

For two and a half years we enjoyed the house,
Your presence is felt throughout,
But one morning as you waved good-bye,
So many of our dreams suddenly died.

It’s been several years now that you’ve been gone,
And the emptiness stretches on,
In a home now of broken dreams,
Nothing is as it seems.

We never know what the years will hold,
A child is more precious than gold,
When you died a part of us died too,
And everything changed from what we knew.

God's Time

The days are turning into years,
Since the time you last were here,
It doesn’t seem like that much time has passed,
When we were able to see you last.

You are now beyond our physical touch,
But in our hearts loved so much,
Why did you have to go?
There are so many things I don’t know.

What can ever take this pain away?
It’s so hard living with sorrow each day,
Sometimes I tire of being here,
I pray for my purpose to become more clear.

Sweet angels of mercy, healing, and grace,
Comfort me in your loving embrace,
Help me learn to let go,
And to discover the gifts of my soul.

Let me surrender to the peace of the Divine,
Accepting that all is in God’s time,
Give me faith that one day I’ll be,
Walking in love and harmony.

Heal the wounds of my heart,
Mend the jagged, aching parts,
Remembering with every breath,
That ultimately there is no death.

We will be together again,
When my earthly time comes to an end,
Two souls united once more,
When I too enter Heaven’s door.

If Only

     Here are some of the last pictures we have of Graham.  They were taken on the Fourth of July, 2007, on our patio.  Our daughter and my parents and a few of our neighbors came to help celebrate the day.  It was a fun day of family and friends.  Sometimes the simplest times become cherished  memories.  Make the most of all your moments.

If dreams could come true,
I would still be with you,
We would never count the days,
Because you would not have passed away.

Each morning when I rise,
There would be no thought that you died,
Every day I would awake with joy,
Happy with life and my wonderful boy.

Sometimes dreams come to an end,
I’ll not see my son in this life again,
He’s the last thought when I go to bed at night,
And my first thought with the morning light.

If only you were not really dead,
And would be coming home instead,
I’d like to pretend you’ve just been away for awhile,
Separated by nothing more than miles.

Time moves differently now that you are gone,
It’s so hard to keep moving on,
You are remembered and loved more than I can say,
And I miss you every single day.

Reflections of Love

     This weekend I will be attending The Compassionate Friends 33rd  national conference in Arlington, Virginia.  The Compassionate Friends is a national organization for parents who have lost children.  There are over 600 local chapters across the country.  This is the first time I'll be going to one of their national conferences. Fortunately for me, it is not far!  I hope that it will be a very healing experience.  There will be several speakers, all of whom have lost children.   Over a 100 different workshops will be offered.  The event ends with a Memory Walk.  The walkers will be carrying the names of thousands of children that have died.  People from all over the country sent in their children's names to be remembered if they are unable to attend or walk themselves.  I will be walking in Graham's memory, my beautiful angel boy.

     I wrote a poem using the theme for this years conference.

   Here's a link to the Compassionate Friends National Conference web page:

  http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/2010_TCF_National_Conference.aspx

Reflections of love, visions of hope,
This year’s theme to help parents to cope,
Coming together in shared heartache and loss,
Shattered by the enormity of the cost.

Our children are gone, our hearts are broken,
What words can ever be spoken?
Traveling a path in a world now unknown,
It’s comforting to know we need not walk alone.

Compassionate friends all carrying grief,
Driven to heal and to find some relief,
Searching for hope in our lives once more,
Because they will never be as they were before.

Joining hands with each other,
We reflect and remember,
The ties of the heart with our children,
Grateful for the gift we were given.

It is in love that we will survive,
Love that  keeps our sons and daughters alive,
Our children never really leave,
They are with us in every breath we breathe.

Love Like No Other

Time heals all wounds they say,
I am waiting for that day,
It’s been years and I still cry,
Missing my son that died.

Love between a child and mother,
Is love like no other,
Death cannot sever this bond,
The ties of the heart are much too strong.

The pain may soften a little over time,
But the wound is never left behind,
Forever there will be an ache in my heart,
Sorrow that we must be apart.

I never imagined that he'd not be here,
To love and cherish through the years,
A treasured son I can no longer see,
Held close in loving memory.

I'll Love You Forever

Please give me a message, show me a sign,
Let me know we’re connected through time,
Physically parted, souls still entwined,
I’ll love you forever, child of mine.

You were once a part of me,
My cherished little baby,
A treasured son come to earth,
When I was blessed to give you birth.

I sang you sweet lullabies,
Quieted your baby cries,
I soothed your childhood fears,
Dried away all your tears.

You filled my life in so many ways,
Bringing purpose to my days,
I couldn’t have loved you any more than I do,
How can your life be through?

Where are you now my son?
I’ll  miss you forever precious one,
Our years together seem like a dream,
What does my life now mean?

My world has been torn apart,
But you are written across my heart,
You will always be a part of me,
Connected through eternity.

Father's Day

This picture is from our last Father's Day with Graham in 2007.  I wrote this poem last year.  Graham drove home for the day to be with his dad.  He had been out in the country with some of his friends, so he cruised in a little disheveled!

Another Father’s Day is here,
The second one without you here,
Two years ago I had saved,
The card for your dad that you gave.

I got it out for your dad again,
To read and feel the love that it sends,
We remember that last Father’s Day,
So grateful that summer you were able to stay.

Your father and I are so proud of you,
We think of you in all we do,
Incomprehensible that you are gone,
We are doing our best to carry on.

An amazing young man and cherished son,
You filled our world with adventure and fun,
We are so grateful to have been your mom and dad,
And for every moment that we had.