The Bigger Picture

If I live the average number of years,
Calculated while I am here,
I am already two-thirds through,
With what I came here to do.

It gives one pause upon reflection,
Because there’s so much to question,
Has the life you’ve lived so far,
Positively defined who you are?

Have you fulfilled your hopes and dreams?
Are you happy with what you’ve done and seen?
Have you tried your very best,
So in contentment you may rest?

We must pray for God’s love and light,
To help us to keep shining bright,
It’s easy to become disillusioned,
And to live in a state of confusion.

When life doesn’t go as you planned,
It’s so hard to understand,
You realize there’s so much we don’t know,
And that we really have little control.

The picture is much bigger than we can see,
In the plan of eternity,
There is no timeframe for a soul,
Only one consistent goal.

That is to experience, learn and grow,
So that we eventually come to know,
The sacred breath of life,
That unites us all in Heaven’s light.

Mother's Day 2011

I'm blessed to be able to share this Mother's Day weekend with my mother and dad.

Count your blessings large and small,
Be thankful for them all,
A beautiful day, a note from a friend,
Your pet’s happy greeting, the list never ends.

The love of your family, a baby’s smile,
So many things make life worthwhile,
When at night you go to bed,
Make a list inside your head.

What did your day bring?
Think of any positive thing,
Let the shadows move and pass,
Dark clouds do not always last.

Look for the sun, for it will rise,
Let no negative visions obscure the eyes,
Ask for any Heavenly help,
To move beyond thoughts of self.

Cherish every happy memory and know,
That we are here to learn and grow,
And that if we walk each day in love,
All our needs will be taken care of.

Arizona Trip

I spent my birthday flying to Arizona.  My husband and I spent the weekend at an Afterlife Awareness conference.  It was very interesting.  The best part of the conference were the people attending. It turns out that three quarters of the attendees were parents that had lost children.  You could feel the love. 
When the conference was over we drove to Sedona for a couple of days.  What a beautiful place!  There really is a special feel to it.  Here are a couple of pictures we took at an amazing little church, the Chapel of the Holy Cross just outside Sedona, where I lit a candle for Graham. 

Easter 2011

We had a lovely Easter weekend at our home with family. We also went to the cemetery and left an Easter lily at Graham's grave site.  We used this poem by Helen Steiner Rice as part of our reading before Easter dinner. http://www.rabbitsabc.com/poems/helen-steiner-rice-1.html
Here are a few pictures.  

 

On My Knees

We bought this angel statue for Graham's birthday last month.  I was thinking about putting it in our yard, but decided to use it indoors instead.  Shortly thereafter, my husband and I bought the fountain and placed it with the statue, then added the plants and the candle.  It somehow evolved into this indoor grotto.  We love the feeling of serenity this area gives.  The water is soothing to hear.  We draw comfort from this little spiritual oasis of love.

Brought to my knees,
With agonizing need,
When the world without,
Turned to darkness and doubt,

No place to hide,
 I went inside,
Desperate for my pain to ease,
And for faith in which to believe.

I prayed to God,
I cried so hard,
Why is my child dead?
It should be me instead.

With God’s love and Heavenly help,
Move me beyond thoughts of self,
To see the greater picture and plan,
So I might come to understand.

Let me feel your Divine love,
With all comfort from above,
To replace my anguish and grief,
With the peace that I seek.

Internet Talk Radio Show Interview

I was Carolyn Bookout's guest today on her Internet radio show, "Focus Factor." It will play again Thursday night (links below) at 10 Eastern time. The show will also be archived for replay on Contact Talk Radio. I've been listening to various shows on Contact Talk Radio for the past three years, and found them very helpful and informative.


Carolyn Bookout - Join me at http://www.contacttalkradio.com
on Saturday at 10am PDT (1pm EDT) and Thursday at 7pm PDT (10pm EDT) to hear Claire Ann Stevenson discuss her book "A Mother's Tears".  Find out how the loss of a cherished son brought her on a path through grief to hope. Visit her blog at amotherstears.blogspot.com
Internet Talk radio-Internet- talk radio - Contact Talk Radio - Internet Talk Radio- -Talk Radio Show
http://www.contacttalkradio.com
CONTACT Talk Radio Network: A media platform that presents cutting edge information geared toward spirituality,business, health, environmental issues and activism; connecting listeners with tools that assist them in making educated and empowered decisions.

Clip from an interview about a show that I was on

Kay VanHoesen, founder of Here Women Talk radio, was interviewed on a television station in her area. She mentioned one of the shows on her site. It was the "Rivers of Faith"show that I was on with Donna Tyson. Here is a clip of her interview.

"Rivers of Faith" wth Donna Tyson [HQ]

Here Women Talk founder Kay Van Hoesen talks about "Rivers of Faith" hosted by Donna Tyson (airs every Tuesday, 11am-12pm EST) at www.HereWomenTalk.com (this video is part of a January 2011 interview with a local TV program)

Length: ‎1:33

A Mother's Tears-More book news

I was honored to find out a few days ago that my book, A Mother's Tears, will be available for sale in the bookstores at two national conferences this summer - The Compassionate Friends, and Bereaved Parents of the USA. I will be attending the Bereaved Parents conference and signing my books while there. Both venues offer hope and healing to grieving hearts. I hope to see many of you there!  Here are links for conference information:

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/news_events/tcf_national_conferences.aspx

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/Gathering.html 

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

     This is a great picture of Graham (and George Mason) taken in Washington, D.C.  Graham and his dad had a great father/son day walking all over and seeing the sights.  It's a wonderful memory for my husband.  We miss Graham so very much, and cherish the time we had together.  Forever our son...

My son’s death leaves such a hole,
I feel so lost without my role,
As his mother and his friend,
Will my heartache ever end?

One step forward, two steps back,
Will I ever get back on track?
Help me to find my stride,
With divine love and comfort guide.

Pick me up when I fall,
I want to stand straight and tall,
I know you don’t want me on the ground,
With tears of anguish the only sound.

Give me strength to carry on,
These days seem far too long,
I hope in victory we will meet,
Not in agony and defeat.

A Birthday That Won't Be

This picture was taken on Graham's 21st birthday.  He and our daughter, Laura, both came home to celebrate their birthdays together.  They were both born in March.  My parents came over too.  We all went out to a restaurant for dinner, then came back home for cake and ice cream.  It was a special, memorable day.  Little did we know that we would have only one more birthday with Graham.  We love you, Graham, and miss you more than we could ever say.  Happy birthday to you in Heaven.  Save a place for us.  

Twenty-six years ago today,
Was our son’s birthday,
The thirtieth of March in 1985,
Was the special day that he arrived.

What a day of wondrous joy,
To give birth to our precious boy,
We had a daughter and now a son,
What a feeling of perfection.

Almost four years ago our son passed away,
On a beautiful September day,
The moon was full, the stars were bright,
As he was walking enjoying the night.

A freak accident, in seconds he was dead,
What words can ever be said?
Twenty-two years full of adventure and life,
Were suddenly gone, as cut with a knife.

All the years of love and devotion,
Disappeared, like the tides in an ocean,
I am left floundering on the shore,
Wondering what I am here for.

Searching for answers, searching for peace,
Praying at some point this pain will cease,
Remembering a birthday that won’t be,
Is still unbelievable to me.

In loving memory of Graham - my new license plate.

Across Dimensions

If mediums can talk to you,
I should be able to,
No one could be closer,
To you than your mother.

I long to consciously communicate,
No matter how long it will take,
I am working hard each day,
Searching to find the way.

If everything is energy,
Vibrating at different frequencies,
I know it’s possible to tune in,
The secret is to go within.

I now see the world with different eyes,
There is so much more to realize,
The here and now is much too small,
To ever be able to explain it all.

To see, touch, hear, taste, and smell,
Are all very well,
But there are other senses to uncover,
Intuition and psychic abilities to discover.

Looking for messages and signs,
Tuning in to the divine,
I know you watch and wait for me,
Until I am able to see.

What has always been right here,
When we move beyond our fear,
I am coming, it won’t be long,
The bond of love is much too strong.

To ever keep us far apart,
Because you beat within my heart,
Two hands reaching across dimensions,
With love and joy beyond comprehension.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Graham!

This picture was taken on St. Patrick's Day in 2006.  Graham put on this St. Patrick's Day hat that I had for a decoration and held up his bottle of beer for a funny picture.  I always make corned beef and cabbage and Irish soda bread every year for St. Patrick's Day.  Graham always enjoyed this meal.  It's another occasion that brings mixed feelings with it.  I wish that Graham could be sharing this day and meal with us again.  Always in our hearts, our precious son.

The Little Things

Notice the little things in life each day,
Gratefully acknowledge and praise,
As your day is about to begin,
Focus on what matters and go within.

Take pleasure in being alive,
We are not meant just to survive,
Smile at the people you see,
Be as pleasant as you can be.

Do you know someone who is sad?
Be thoughtful and help them to feel glad,
Kind words and good deeds,
Mean so much when you’re in need.

Be a mentor, be a friend,
Help a broken heart to mend,
Move beyond yourself,
Reach out and be a help.

Thank God for blessings large and small,
With humble acceptance for them all,
In all hardships and terrible pain,
Strive to find the greater gain.

With Divine love and spiritual light,
Comfort and keep our spirits bright,
Fill our hearts with joy and love,
With heavenly blessings from above.