My Heart Keeps Beating

Somehow my heart keeps beating,
And I am still breathing,
The sun rises each morning and sets each night,
Evening darkness and morning light.

The world still revolves and life moves on,
But it’s fundamentally altered now that you are gone,
I miss you son, I miss my friend,
I never imagined your life would end.

Two years ago you passed away,
But it feels like only yesterday,
I sometimes imagine that you’ll walk through our door,
Coming home to visit once more.

I would give anything for this to be true,
To have the life back that we knew,
Mentally I know there’s a purpose for this to be,
Emotionally I just want you here with me.

You live in my heart every minute of every day,
Feel the love I send your way,
Thank you Graham, for being my son,
My heart’s joy and treasured one.

Holidays

The holidays are a particularly poignant time of year,

With friends and family gathering near,

We have fond memories of holidays past,

Amazed the years go by so fast.

In our minds a movie plays,

Of the many wonderful holidays,

We smell the turkey and taste the pies,

And sip hot apple cider with happy sighs.

Sometimes we travel, sometimes stay home,

So very fortunate if we’re not alone,

Good spirits and laughter fill the air,

With hugs and sharing everywhere.

Catching up on the latest news,

And remembering old family stories too,

It’s these special memories that remain in our hearts,

Softening the pain when loved ones depart.

Cook up a feast and say a prayer,

For our many blessings and be aware,

To cherish each moment and give praise,

For the blessing that love brings to our days.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving


On Thanksgiving day we will say a prayer,
With family and friends gathered there,
Thankful to all be together,
Sharing the holiday with each other.

There will be a place set at the table for you,
Knowing you will be joining us too,
Looking down from heaven above,
Surrounding us with your love.

Your physical absence will be keenly felt,
But your spiritual presence will be all about,
You never missed a holiday while you were here,
Death won’t keep you from being near.

Happy Thanksgiving, dearest one,
We are so blessed you were our son,
We thank God for the gift of you,
And remember you in all we do.

Angelic Arms

Heavenly wings gently enfold,

Cradle me and comfortingly hold,

I cannot live each day in grief,

Rock me softly and bring relief.

Whisper words of joy and peace,

Acceptance and thanks to help and ease,

Songs of love to soothe the soul,

Repairing my heart to make it whole.

Swaying gently in angelic arms,

Safe from all earthly harms,

I will find the strength to take,

All the choices I need to make.

A leap of faith with soul conviction,

Love without any restriction,

Held close, then let go,

With divine assurance to come to know.

We are always surrounded by heavenly care,

Help me to become more aware,

To focus on the gifts through time,

Bestowed upon us by the divine.

Light of Love

I light a candle for you each night,

And watch the flame burning bright;

A visual remembrance of the love we knew,

When we were blessed to have you.

The golden glow its warmth imparts,

And keeps you within my heart;

Surrounded by you night and day,

Forever you will stay,

Within my thoughts, my heart, my mind,

Through all the passages of time.

When I Learned That You Had Died

This picture was taken Thanksgiving 2006 at Graham's grandparents'.

When I learned that you had died,

I was numb inside,

I was in disbelief, I didn’t cry,

I just couldn’t fathom why.

Just that morning we were on the phone,

Talking about plans for coming home,

You were only an hour away,

I said next weekend would be OK.

The previous weekend you’d been here,

It was wonderful you lived so near,

Many college students live far away,

But you could always come home and stay.

What a gift that was for us,

We never had to adjust,

To you being much too far,

To ever get to you by car.

You were home for all occasions,

Adding to the celebrations,

For being young and twenty-two,

We had the most possible time that we could have with you.

I wonder now if that was planned,

As compensation by a Divine hand,

Knowing that you were never meant to be,

Here for the years we thought you’d be.

The pain is beyond what I can say,

Ever since you passed away,

So many moments are bittersweet,

With our family now incomplete.

Within my heart there is a hole,

That travels to my very soul,

I pray that in victory we will meet,

Not in agony and defeat.

So I work hard each day,

To remember with thankfulness and praise,

Every year we had with you,

And all the joy and love we knew.

Shattered by Loss

Broken and bleeding at the foot of the cross,
Shattered by my loss,
Every day I pray and say,
Please, God, take this pain away.

The burden is much too heavy for me to bear,
Let me become more aware,
Of a world that I cannot clearly see,
Comforted by the touch of divinity.

I long to feel the angels' wings,
To hear heavenly choirs that sing,
I want to feel God’s love,
And know that I am taken care of.

The universe is vast, and I am small,
But I am part of it all,
Clear away my doubts and fears,
Build my faith in coming years.

Show me what my part is,
I want to more fully live,
To put together my broken pieces,
Assured that love never ceases.

The Strike of a Clock

Death came suddenly while I was asleep,

On unobserved silent feet,

I didn’t know when I went to bed,

In the morning I’d learn you were dead.

At fifty two with the strike of a clock,

The life I knew came to a stop,

One little movement of a clocks hands,

Ended your precious life span.

Each day now is a struggle to get through,

It’s as if half of me went with you,

Your young life was far too brief,

How does a mother live with this grief?

There is no answer for this question,

I can only pray the pain will lessen,

And that all thoughts will be of joy,

For the gift of my cherished boy.

Earthly Eyes Cannot See

 Earthly eyes cannot see,
That you walk next to me,
Hand in hand by my side,
With me always as I stride.


On earth you were my treasured son,
In Heaven still linked with me as one,
Heartbreaking to not have you here,
But your Spirit is always near.


I am working as hard as I can,
To understand the Master plan,
Turn this lead into gold,
Transformation for my soul.


You were not mine to keep,
Love, the blessing for us to reap,
I am so grateful to have been your mother,
And for every moment with each other.


The bonds of love are eternal,
Forming a perfect circle,
Whether in your dimension or mine,
Forever intertwined.

Our Sweet Little Tammy Dog

Our sweet little Tammy dog,

Is laid to rest in our backyard,

Beside my son's apple tree,

The perfect place for her to be.

My son and Tammy were very fond,

Of each other and shared a bond,

And when my son planted his trees,

Tammy was there enjoying the breeze.

Eighteen months ago my son passed away,

And three weeks ago Tammy was placed in her grave,

A birthday present fifteen years ago,

For my children to love and know.

A dog's life span is not very long,

We knew that one day she would be gone,

But the shock of a child dying before your dog,

Seems impossible to be allowed.

From my window I can see Tammy's grave,

And I remember the love that she gave,

It's comforting to know that she and my son,

Are together again having fun.

I am working on being happy for all of the years,

That we had together and not the tears,

Because the love and memories live inside of me,

Held close and cherished with the years left to be.

Forever Twenty-Two

Our son, you will be forever young,

A handsome man with a heart of gold,

Never having to grow old,

Eternally twenty-two,

To all who knew you.

A  loving son and remarkable young man,

Even within your short life span,

You had an amazing mind and tremendous drive,

Driven to succeed and thrive,

A visionary artist with a great sense of style,

And the most beautiful smile.

For every wonderful year that we had,

In the joy of being your mom and dad,

For all the love that we knew,

We honor and thank you.

Mourning

No one can mourn for you,

It’s a process you have to go through;

Working, playing, sleeping or awake,

There is no escape.

We can’t wish it away,

Or bring back prior days;

The grief is always sitting there,

And you are constantly aware.

That we will never again see,

The son who meant the world to me,

Adjusting to this devastation,

When your world has lost its foundation.

Is something I could never have imagined,

How could this have happened?

My anchor is no longer here,

The purpose I have not as clear.

Which direction do I go,

It’s so hard for me to know,

I just wanted to be your mom,

I can’t believe that you are gone.

Stay with me in spirit form,

In new faith I will be born,

The power of love will bring us together,

Because the ties of love can never sever.

A Gift of Love

Six months after our son passed away,

Was our daughter’s wedding day,

The plans had already been in place,

For us all to anticipate.

Our son had planned to design her invitations,

His gift for this joyous occasion,

His graphic design skills would have meant so much,

Giving our daughter’s day an extra special touch.

A gift of love from his heart,

That he was unable to start,

And though he wasn’t physically there,

His presence was felt everywhere.

Our son’s death was so tragic,

But the wedding had a feeling of magic,

People commented on the love they felt,

The sense of family and joy throughout.

Looking back I wonder how I got things done,

And realize it was with the help of my son,

With the aid of a heavenly team,

To help us still realize a wedding day dream.