Christmas orbs

After I posted this on my facebook page I noticed the orbs in the picture on the wall behind me!   When we looked at other pictures from Christmas we saw orbs in them also.  Thank you, my sweet boy, for this visual sign of your continued loving presence.  Christmas love and blessings.

This was my facebook post from Wednesday-

I had a fun time with my darling granddaughter today. It's been so nice having her here over Christmas.   Now it's time for sweet little Evelyn to go to bed wearing the Christmas jammies that I gave her.  She is sleeping in her uncle Graham's room.  I know he is keeping a good watch over her. ♥

Let Your Light Shine

I had a great heavenly message last Sunday.  I had a hair appointment that afternoon.  I have been seeing this hairdresser for the seven years that I have lived here.  She knew and liked my son, Graham. She used to cut his hair too.  I had been sitting in the chair at the salon for about an hour talking with my hairdresser when a song came bursting out in the store that immediately got my attention.  It was Katy Perry singing "Firework."   Up until this point I couldn't tell you what music had been playing.  The other music had not been as loud as this song was.   I told my hairdresser that this song and its message was special to me.   It's a song that I have on my itunes playlist. She told me that it was special to her too.  This song was played at her son's 5th grade graduation.  I told her that I thought it was a message from Graham for us.  She then said, "Oh, I am getting cold chills up and down my body, even in my cheeks." Graham was validating what I was saying.  There is a line in the song that goes- "Ignite the light, and let it shine."  On the drive home just as I was telling my husband about this a car passed in the lane next to ours with a colorful license plate that read SHINEON! I was amazed and delighted!  Graham keeps me going every day. Love is always and forever. ♥

Here is a link to this great song with a great message for us all-

Katy Perry - Firework (youtube)

First and last Christmases

Christmas 1985, the first Christmas my darling children had together. Laura was 3 1/2, and Graham was 9 months old.  We were living in Seoul, Korea, where Graham was born.

Christmas 2006, the last Christmas my precious children had together. Laura was 24, and Graham was 21 years old.  Twenty one wonderful, beautiful Christmases with the lights of my life.  I treasure every moment and memory.

What About Now?

My husband and I had a very nice weekend.  We drove to my parents on Saturday and spent the night with them.  They live a little over an hour from where we do.  We celebrated my husband's birthday with them by going out to dinner and enjoying a delicious Cold Stone Creamery ice cream birthday cake afterwards.  Sunday my husband and I drove another hour or so away to see our daughter, Laura.  Laura is a middle school band teacher. She is also a member of the Virginia Wind Symphony.  She plays the alto saxophone.  We went to see her perform in a Sunday afternoon concert with The Virginia Wind Symphony.  We joined our son-in-law there along with his parents and his sister.  It was a lovely time.  

When my husband and I were driving back home I started feeling sad and was crying.  My face had been hurting all day with sinus pain.  I think when you don't feel well physically it also affects your emotions.   December is hard any way.   I told my husband that as lovely as our week end was that it was still difficult because I miss our son, Graham, not being with us too.   I said that I will always miss Graham.  Right after saying this the song, "What About Now," came on the radio.  There are many lines in that song that spoke directly to me - "I am right beside you" - "What if our love never went away" - "This broken heart can still survive with a touch of your grace" - "What if you are making me all that I am meant to be-I am by your side".  I believe it was a message from Graham. ♥

Westlife - What About Now?

2012 Bereaved Parents of the USA Annual Service of Remembrance

Saturday evening the  Northern Virginia chapter of the Bereaved Parents of the USA held their Annual Service of Remembrance.  It was a very special night.  There was a slide show with pictures of all of our precious children gone too soon, meaningful live music, readings, and a potluck dinner afterwards.  Lovely red poinsettias filled the chapel.  I read two of my poems.  I appreciate having a special service in December each year to honor and remember our children.  The holiday season is so difficult when you are missing loved ones.  It's helpful to be with other bereaved parents.  No words are needed.  We share a heart connection.  Love is always and forever.  Here are some pictures from the beautiful Service.

  

Christmas in Heaven

We love you, Graham.
Christmas in Heaven

Where Are You Christmas

Keep the love in your heart and mind...

"Where Are You Christmas?" by Faith Hill

Yankee Candle Tea Light Angels

Yankee Candle has some pretty tea light angels and jar toppers for sale now. I bought this lovely one. They would be nice to use all year round. Here is the link to Yankee Candle where you can see all the the angels.
http://www.yankeecandle.com/search?q=angel&commit

He Shall Give His Angels Charge Over Thee

I have a strong spiritual belief, but am not a religious person in a traditional sense.  Last Sunday my husband and I spent the weekend with my daughter.  Our little one year old granddaughter was going to be baptized during their Sunday church service.   I was surprised when I saw what the sermon was going to be.  The story of Abraham and his son Isaac, a story of faith and sacrifice from the bible.  You may remember that Abraham was willing to sacrifice his greatest treasure, his only son, when he was asked to by God.  The odd thing about this was that I had been discussing this biblical story with my husband a week or two before this and finding it very difficult to understand.  There were many times during the service that I had tears streaming down my face.  I identified so strongly with this.

On our return trip home my husband and I stopped to buy some lattes for the road.  As we were walking to the store I noticed a license plate on a car that read "PSALM91".  I didn't know what psalm that was, but I made a note to look it up when we got home. There was another car just two spaces away with a license plate that read "BJOYFUL".  About half an hour later as we were driving home I saw a license plate that had letters that was an abbreviation of "trust in him," but I don't remember exactly how they abbreviated it.  

That was three different biblical/spiritual references within an hour of each other after that church service. I knew they were messages. When we arrived home I looked up Psalm 91 (http://www.biblegateway.com/).   It is a prayer of protection.  The part I was familiar with is this:  "For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways."  I have been thinking about these things this past week, and was further amazed yesterday when I saw a post by a facebook friend early in the day about psalm 91! To top that off, another facebook friend had posted about psalm 91 later in the day!  What are the odds?

A New Artistic Endeavor

Anything creative is very healing.  I have found comfort in cooking, decorating, knitting, and of course, my poetry.  I am being guided toward painting now.  Last month I started taking painting classes from a local Art teacher who has a strong connection with angels.  I never know what I am going to paint.  It is purely inspirational with some guidance with the basics from my teacher.  I have never painted before.  Last night was my third class.  Look what I painted!  I am walking out in faith on this new journey.

The Compassionate Friends webinars

Here is a link to two different webinars from The Compassionate Friends.  The Compassionate Friends is a national grief organization for those who have lost children, grandchildren, or siblings.  They have over 600 chapters in the US as well as chapters overseas.  The featured webinar is about handling grief during the holidays.  The other will be about dreams. They are free. You will just need to register to listen to the upcoming one on dreams. 

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Webinars.aspx

Signs and messages

The past few days have been filled with signs and messages. I'd like to share them to show the many different ways that we can receive messages. It would be easy to rationalize away some signs. They are so often small things. I think we tend to feel that signs will come in some big way. Sometimes they do. We have to let our minds get out of the way and accept what we intuitively understand. I have been learning over time to be more conscious of the world of spirit and the way the universe speaks to us.
Monday night while I was in bed my motion activated alarm in my basement that gives a doorbell ring in my bedroom went off three different times by the time I got up! Each time it did three doorbell rings - ding dong, ding dong, ding dong. Usually when the alarm goes off it only happens once in the wee hours of the morning. There has never been anyone in the basement. We know it is my son staying in touch! :)
Yesterday while I was driving I saw a van that said "ANGEL RIDES" on the side. A little further I saw a big commercial truck with graphics and the words "ALMOST HEAVEN". When I got home I opened a Lenox Holiday catalog that came in the mail. On the very first page there was a Christmas ornament of a dove with the word GRACE on it! Three different heavenly things within a half hours time. I don't believe they were coincidental.
A couple of hours later I was listening to an internet radio show on blog talk radio.  I was signed into the chat room.  I was so surprised when Pamela said that she had a message for me from my son!   Once a month she devotes her show to messages from Heaven.  Here is a link to her show.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pmelight/2012/11/08/messages-of-love-from-heaven-medium-pamela-marie-edmunds

 After that I had a Metaphysical meet-up group meeting. The topic was mediumship. When I was leaving the building to come home I heard a song drifting up from the lower level. It was "I'm Already There" by Lonestar! It was a wonderful way to have the day end.   I put a link to it below - enjoy listening to this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJEP5sWuDi8

You'll Be In My Heart

A few days ago my husband and I went to our local mall to do a little shopping.  We were looking at a holiday display of Lenox china items and noticed a beautiful angel figurine.  The angel is holding a heart in her hands.  This angel was with the holiday items but can be used at any time.   She was so symbolic and meaningful to us.  We bought her in our son's loving memory.

After this I went to the card store in the mall.  I was looking for Thanksgiving cards for my parents and my daughter and son-in-law.   It is always bittersweet to buy cards for holidays now. Thanksgiving can be especially difficult.  I was thinking about my son as I started reading the different cards.  The next thing I knew the Phil Collins song "You'll Be In My Heart" came on in the store. I started to cry.  I knew that Graham was talking to me.   It wasn't until an hour ago that it dawned on me that the angel figurine holding a heart was the prelude to the song message and tied it all together!  Thank you, Graham.  Thank you for being our loving son. Love is always and forever. ♥
Phil Collins: You'll Be In My Heart

Natural Bridge

My husband and I were out doing some errands a few days ago.  We came to a stop behind a car that had a scenic license plate that caught my attention.  It's not one I've seen before. Virginia has many different kinds of license plates available.  Some are a lot more popular than others.  The numbers on it were 2224.  Doreen Virtue says in her Angel Numbers book that the number 222 means "Have faith, everything's going to be all right.  Don't worry about anything, as this situation is resolving itself beautifully for everyone involved."  Her book also explains that the number 4 means "Angels are with you.  Call upon them for help, guidance, and feelings of love and security."  As I was telling my husband the meaning of these numbers, he pointed out that the license plate also said Natural Bridge.  That's when the deeper significance of this really hit me.  I ask every day to be a bridge between worlds connecting with my son. I used my poem copied below, Rainbow Bridge, as a preface for my book, http://www.amazon.com/Mothers-Tears-Poems-Heartbreak-Discovery/dp/1453716947/.   I felt this was a wonderful message.  A sample picture of the Virginia Natural Bridge license plate appears at the end of this post.

Rainbow Bridge

I’m going to meet you halfway, Graham, come take my hand,
I’m walking steadily toward the Promised Land,
I won’t let you leave me, I’m not far behind,
You are with me always, son of mine.

One foot in Heaven, and one foot on Earth,
I straddle both worlds now, a totally new turf,
Like a rainbow’s promise on a distant ridge,
Let us join together and make a bridge.

Wild Horses - Susan Boyle

This Rolling Stones classic song, "Wild Horses" really speaks to my heart.  I especially like Susan Boyle's poignant cover of it.  Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Graham.  I love you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-p7K_VVntM

Angels Across the USA

Last week Alan and Denise Pedersen were the guests for our local Compassionate Friends chapter monthly meeting.  Alan and Denise each lost a child from previous marriages.  They have a wonderful grief ministry that they take across the country to comfort the bereaved.  Alan is a singer-songwriter and has recorded four beautiful CDs of his songs inspired by his tragic loss.  Alan and Denise are able to do this by people sponsoring their "angels" to travel with them.  My son, Graham, is one of the angels.  

A video of collages made from pictures of all of the angels plays at each of their performances on a TV screen.  There are hundreds of these collages.  At the performance I attended last week, I would look at the TV every so often to see if Graham's collage would be on.  It wasn't until Alan directed everyone's attention to the TV to explain how their ministry was possible that Graham's picture suddenly appeared!  I knew Graham orchestrated that for me.  2013 will be the final year of this special ministry.  I would highly recommend attending one of their events if they are in your area.  Check out their website for details and dates -
https://www.facebook.com/angelsacrosstheusa

The Grief Toolbox

The Grief Toolbox, http://thegrieftoolbox.com/, is a wonderful resource for inspiration and comfort in bereavement.  They have just added an online store to their site.  They now have memorial Christmas ornaments to order.  I have found a lot of comfort in having special ornaments for my son, Graham, on our Christmas tree (note that the picture above shows an ornament I already had; it is not one sold by The Grief Toolbox).  Here are the links for the two ornaments available from The Grief Toolbox if you would like to have your loved one honored and remembered in this way.

http://thegrieftoolbox.com/products/personalized-ornament

http://thegrieftoolbox.com/products/ceramic-photo-ball-ornament

Dr. Heidi Horsley article on her near death experience.

I am sharing this amazing article that Dr. Heidi Horsley, of http://www.opentohope.com, has written. She is a psychologist who works extensively with the bereaved.  Heidi describes in this article how she lost her only brother and a cousin together in a car accident.  Years later Heidi was in a car accident and underwent a near death experience that I think has given her greater insight into the process of dying.  I found it very comforting.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-heidi-horsley/near-death-experience-_b_1954653.html

If I Were a Painter, Norah Jones

Enjoy this beautiful song by Norah Jones -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX_dSVlkTBY

Bereaved Parents of the USA newsletter

Here is the latest quarterly edition of the Bereaved Parents of the USA newsletter.  There is no charge for this newsletter.  If you would like to receive it, you just need to subscribe to it.  I think it has some helpful articles and resources for grieving parents.  See what you think.

http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/BP_NatlNews.htm

This is a famous writing by Henry Scott Holland.  I find it profoundly beautiful and comforting.  Henry Scott Holland was an English clergyman (1847-1918).  Here is a link if you would like to read more about him.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Scott_Holland

Death is Nothing at All

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland

"So Much" song by Newton Faulkner

I love this song, even though it makes me cry.  I have been listening to it a lot today.   It really speaks to my heart.  Graham, "There's so much of you in everything I do, just wish that you were still around."
So Much, by Newton Faulkner

Inukshuk

Yesterday my husband and I went to the Occoquan Fall Arts and Crafts Festival.  There were many different vendors with unique items for sale.  I was drawn to a booth that had a display of unusual glazed ceramic figures.  These handmade small figures turned out to be inukshuks.   I had never heard of these mysterious stone figures before.   I found out that they are used by indigenous peoples of the far north as monuments for various purposes, such as memorials for a beloved person.

The artist, Tessa Wuchenich, had created miniature inukshuks, some of which had a special stone embedded in the figure with a specific meaning.   I liked one Tessa called "Bright Streak" that had a blue lace agate.  This stone is supposed to boost your ability to communicate, especially the thoughts and feelings that you receive from your higher self.   It also aids in emotional healing.   It was very meaningful to me, and I bought this special figure.  I've posted a picture of my inukshuk above.

For more information, take a look at http://www.inukshukgallery.com/inukshuk.html. The artist's web site is http://www.artbytessaw.webs.com.

Angel Miracles

My facebook friend, Cindy Adkins, has just published this wonderful ebook.  Angel Miracles has stories from people who have received messages and signs from loved ones on the other side.  I am delighted that Cindy included two experiences that I've had in her book.  One of the experiences explains how one of my poems came about.  I hope Angel Miracles will touch many hearts.  Her book is available at
http://www.amazon.com/Angel-Miracles-Connecting-Heaven-ebook/dp/B009HOBI88/

Signs From Our Loved Ones

There is a wonderful facebook group that I work with - Signs From Our Loved Ones (https://www.facebook.com/groups/SignsFromOurLovedOnes/).  Guy Dusseault started this unique and loving group in November 2011 as a place where those grieving the loss of a loved one can connect and share and find hope in understanding that our bonds are eternal. We just reached 1,000 members!  I made these Mocha-Caramel Cappuccino cupcakes and posted this picture to the group to share in cyber-celebration.  I know our loved ones in spirit are celebrating with us!

Five Year Angelversary

Five years ago today life as I knew it changed forever with the sudden passing from this earthly life of my precious son, Graham. He lives with me now in a different way. I miss his physical presence more than I could ever say, but he is

always with me. I treasure every moment we had together while he was here. I am so grateful to have been his mother and for the eternal loving bonds that we share. Graham continues to teach me many things. Love never dies.

Angelis - "Even Though You Are Gone"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUaSddkWl7c

Graham

Our son, you will be forever young,
A handsome man with a heart of gold,
Never having to grow old,
Eternally twenty-two,
To all who knew you.

A loving son and remarkable young man,
Even within your short life span,
You had an amazing mind and tremendous drive,
The power to succeed and thrive,
A visionary artist with a great sense of style,
And the most beautiful smile.

For every wonderful year that we had,
In the joy of being your mom and dad,
For all the love that we knew,
We honor and thank you.

Copyright © C.A. Stevenson 2009

Serenity Prayer Message

This afternoon I noticed that a couple of my patio table chairs had blown over from a strong wind.  As I was walking towards the chairs to straighten them, I noticed there was a butterfly on the memorial bench I have for my son, Graham.  This bench has the famous lines from the Serenity Prayer on it.  The bench is on the patio and was near the two overturned chairs, or else I would never have noticed the butterfly on the bench.  The butterfly wasn't moving, and at first I thought that it was dead.   I went back inside the house to get my camera to take a picture.  I then saw it was alive, but it stayed on the bench for a couple of minutes allowing me to take several pictures of it.   I was sure the butterfly was there so that I would re-read these lines from this special prayer.  That was Graham's message and comfort for me. Graham's five year angelversary is on Saturday.  Forever in my heart.

Memorial Stone

Next week will be our son's five year angelversary.  It's still hard to believe that Graham is no longer physically here, and that it's been five years since we last saw him.  My husband and I decided to have a memorial (paver) stone made for him.  We wanted to honor his precious memory with something special to place beside the lovely koi pond/water feature in our back yard.  The pond was built as a memorial for Graham.  We ordered this personalized paver with Graham's picture and inscriptions from two of my poems.   "Only son, treasured one" is the title of the first poem that I wrote, and the other four lines are from my poem, "Graham."  We are so pleased with the stone.  It is beautifully done in black granite with laser engraving.  This picture we used of Graham is special to us because it was taken at a Fourth of July celebration we held with family and neighbors on our patio two months before he died.  The patio is next to the pond.  There is not a minute that we don't feel Graham's continued presence in our lives.  Thank you, Graham, for being our son.  We love you more than we could ever say. 

Here is the link to the site if you are interested in having a memorial paver.

http://www.ourcornermarket.com/Memorial-Pavers.html

Signs While Driving

My husband and I were out driving recently.  When we were stopped at a light I noticed a pick up truck in front of us because the model was a Dodge Ram Big Horn.  In addition to the Dodge Ram logo it had a silhouette of a ram on the back because it was a Big Horn model (see the picture).  My son, Graham, was an Aries, and the astrological sign for Aries is a ram.   I was looking at the truck and wondering about this possibly being a sign from Graham. When I was speculating about this to my husband he said there was another Big Horn truck in the left lane a couple of cars ahead.  At that moment Chris Daughtry's song "I'm Going Home" came on our car radio (here's the song on YouTube with lyrics - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ytod23dBeI).  This is a special song to me. I have it on my playlist of songs for Graham.  I believe that Graham was making sure that we knew these were signs from him with this further validation.  Our loved ones in spirit show us in so many different ways that they are truly always with us.

Love

Love

Love, unconditional,
The guiding principle,
When all else fails,
Love will prevail.

The greatest power there is to know,
When we tap into its flow,
A universal energy from God,
Strength for us when life is hard.

Accept, surrender, be at peace,
Open your heart and release,
As Spirit having a human life,
Distance yourself from earthly strife.

Through the filter of love’s eyes,
We can become very wise,
When we focus and search within,
Transformation will begin.

God provides so we don’t fail,
Through life’s trials and travails,
With unconditional support and love,
We learn what we are capable of.

In thankfulness and praise,
Acknowledge Spirit’s ways,
Be a channel of love and goodwill,
To help uplift the world and heal.

"From Within" Video

This is a lovely, inspirational video with the instrumental version of the song "Our Hearts Will Go On" as the background music.  I know this song has very special meaning for many of us.  This was the theme song from the movie, "Titanic."
"From Within" (Our Hearts Will Go On)

"You'll Be In My Heart" Song and Message

Wow!  Today I was driving and thinking about how my son, Graham, shows me that he is always with me.  When people in my life are not always there for me, Graham shows me that he is.  As I was thinking about how grateful I am for this, this song came on the radio!  "You'll Be in My Heart"  Tears filled my eyes.  There is no power greater than love.

I was very pleased to have the opportunity to be the guest on Pamela Marie Edmunds' Blog Talk Radio show, "Bridge Between Two Worlds," a few days ago.  I shared some of my poems and how my book, "A Mother's Tears -  Poems of Heartbreak, Loss, and Discovery," came about and the turn my life has taken with my son's death.  It was a heartfelt hour of love and sharing and connecting with others who have also experienced great loss.  Here is the archived link to the show-

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bridgebetween/2012/08/23/a-mothers-tears-with-author-claire-ann-stevenson

My Upcoming Radio Show Interview

This Wednesday, August 22, I will be a guest on Pamela Marie Edmunds blog talk radio show, "Bridge Between Two Worlds."  I will be discussing my book of poetry and the turn my life has taken with the passing of my son, Graham.  I hope that you will be able to listen.  Here is the link to the show-

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bridgebetween/2012/08/23/a-mothers-tears-with-author-claire-ann-stevenson

 

If you're unable to listen to this live, the show will be archived. 

Homecoming

When we cross over after we die,
There’s a celebration on the other side,
Do not cry when earthly life is done,
We are back home, moving to a higher rung.

The soul is eternal, we never end,
And we will all be together again,
Our loved ones cheer our return,
Rejoicing with us in what we have learned.

Our concept of time is limited while here,
We only think it’s linear,
There is no measurement for time,
In the universe’s eternal rhyme.

Give me the enlightenment to see,
That all is as it’s meant to be,
Time can seem to move too fast or too slow,
But with a spiritual perspective we come to know.

That whether life is short or long,
We are where we belong,
Playing out the plans of our soul,
On the path to becoming whole.

If I Die Young

Yesterday I had an appointment.  I was having a conversation with two of the women working there as I was getting ready to leave.  I was letting them know about Pamela Marie Edmund's radio show that I will be the guest on next week and the next thing I heard was the song, "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry playing!  I looked at them and said, "You see, Graham is always letting me know that he is here.  That song is one of the songs on my playlist."  One of the women said, "Oh, I have goosebumps!"  It's these signs from our loved ones that help us to keep going.  In case any of you have not heard this great song, here it is.  My favorite line is "Lord, make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother.  She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors."
Love to all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0iEj7alzAI

Mothers Hold Their Children's Hands for a Little While but Their Hearts Forever

A few days ago I spent a lovely day with two friends.  We drove to a special spiritual store at a lovely outdoor mall in Richmond.  We had lunch and shared many things with each other.  When I was talking about my son, Graham, tears naturally came.  I showed them the bracelets I was wearing and the significance of them.  One bracelet I wear almost every day has this wonderful inscription on it - "Mothers hold their children's hands for a little while but their hearts forever."  When we left the restaurant I was still teary eyed and thinking about Graham.  As we were walking by the store windows, one of my friends said, "Look at what is in this store window."  There was a pretty display of decorated canvases. Several of them were about mothers.  The one in this picture was in the center and one of the sayings on it is the very same inscription I had just shared with them from my bracelet!  We all felt that was not coincidental.  I think Graham wanted me to have this.  I bought it and have it in my bedroom.  I am so grateful for his messages of love.

Hummingbird Video

We were able to get this short video of a hummingbird tonight! Hummingbirds show how to accomplish what seems impossible and how to bring the miracle of joy back into our lives. They are a reminder for us to find happiness in all things. I work every day on rediscovering joy. Aren't they beautiful little messengers?

  (Note:  This was taken in HD, but apparently blogger.com does not have the capability of displaying videos in HD.)

For Good

This is a lovely song.  Yes, Graham, because I knew you, I've been changed for good.  I love you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtMN3mXmvqU

Heavenly Team

I believe that we all have a "heavenly team" of helpers. Our team is comprised of many different beings - passed loved ones, ancestors, spirit guides, angels, saints, and ascended masters. While out driving today this message was brought very clearly to me. When I was behind a car today I did a double take when I noticed the license plate. The license plate read ANGEL-85. 1985 was the year my son, Graham, was born! I kept thinking about this sign. When I was driving home I was amazed when I noticed another license plate on a car in front of me again. It read ST RAFEL. St Raphael, or Archangel Raphael, is the angel associated with healing. I found this link about him if you are interested in more from Doreen Virtue. http://www.beliefnet.com/Inspiration/Angels/2010/06/Healing-Miracles-of-Archangel-Raphael.aspx?b=1 You know how validations often come in threes? Well, there was one more sign. One last car I noticed had a fish with the word JESUS inside it! I was feeling the need for a message and I feel that my heart's plea was answered. We are never truly alone. Love and blessings to us all.

Butterfly Release and Memorial Garden Dedication

This past Sunday my husband and I attended a very special event. We are a part of the Bereaved Parents of the USA Northern Virginia Chapter. The chapter had a butterfly release as part of a memorial garden dedication for our precious children. The garden is lovely. It will be wonderful to have this tranquil garden of love and healing to visit and find comfort in. Our treasured children, always and forever. We love you. 

Here is a link to more pictures of this special day: Memorial Garden Butterfly Release

Always and Forever Song

I was driving the other day and this old song came on the radio. I was so surprised! I believe that my son, Graham, wanted to give me another "always and forever" message of love. I cried all the way to the store.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UniZucAo0r8

Fourth of July Memories

 This picture is from the Fourth of July, 2007. We had family and some of the neighbors over for a little celebration on our patio. It's one of our favorite pictures of Laura and Graham. We treasure this wonderful memory. We love you, Graham, and miss you so much.  I thought this song, "Firework," by Katy Perry, would be a perfect accompaniment - it reminds me of Graham.  He was like a brilliant firework.  Happy Fourth of July to everyone! 

Angel Standing By - Jewell song

I think this is a lovely song.  Bless all of our angels.   Enjoy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61XkGntxMdY

The symbol of rebirth and resurrection

In April we had a lovely water garden built in our backyard.  (See my April 2012 posts for some pictures and explanations.)  Included with the water garden were several aquatic plants.  I didn't know what they all were; they were chosen by the water garden designer.  It turns out that one of the plants is a beautiful white calla lily.  It blossomed this past week.  I was curious about the symbolism of calla lilies.  I looked up the meaning of this flower and discovered that it represents rebirth and resurrection.  That's why they are often used in weddings and funerals.  White represents purity.  I don't believe that it was a coincidence for the calla lily to be included as a part of our water garden.  I am so pleased to have this special flower as a part of our memorial water garden for Graham.  I believe that it was meant to be, a message from my son. It inspired this poem.

Calla Lily

A trumpet shaped calla lily tall and upright,
Majestic and lovely in the morning light,
Heralding a message of victory and rebirth,
Resurrection and faith from fertile earth.

White, the color of angels and divine purity,
Holiness and Mary and sympathy,
Beauty and comfort that inspires and uplifts,
One of nature’s most beautiful gifts.

A balloon message

These last several weeks seem to have been a time of a lot of signs and messages!  I am so grateful. Here is the latest one I feel I received. 

Last week I went to a party store looking for some birthday balloons for my mother's birthday. While I was there looking at all the balloons to choose from on the store's display wall, I saw this heart-shaped balloon that said - Love Always and Forever! I felt that it was another always and forever sign from my son, Graham. I had to go back today and take a picture of it to share with everyone.

A never alone song and message

I clicked on this music video shared by a Facebook friend this morning to listen to.  The song is "Never Alone" by Lady Antebellum.  It is such a beautiful song.  The message is wonderful.  As I was listening I walked into my kitchen and saw my phone turn itself on!  I know it was my son validating the message in the song - never alone.  I am so grateful for Graham's signs and messages.  They bring so much comfort and reassurance of our eternal connection. That means everything to me.  Our loved ones are always with us.  Thank you, Graham.  I love you.

Never Alone
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pXrMPtCVcE

A Rainbow message

A few days ago while I was driving I noticed the license plate on the car in front of me because it was a rainbow!  The above license plate is a sample of the one I saw.  I have never seen a rainbow license plate before.  I live in Virginia.  This was a Hawaii state license plate.  I feel like I have received many messages involving rainbows over the last few years.  Rainbows have a lot of special spiritual meanings, the primary one being promise.  Here is an earlier post with my poem, "Rainbow's Promise," and some other rainbow related messages.

http://amotherstears.blogspot.com/2010/04/rainbows-promise.html

"A Mother's Love" by Jim Brickman

This is a beautiful song I would like to share.  A mother and her child are forever entwined.

htthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3BrcqoSqMQp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3BrcqoSqMQ

I Am Not A Stranger There Anymore

A dear friend of mine, Vivian West, wrote this poem.  The title of this poem came to Vivian during a discussion we were having.  I had just said that what I wanted most in this world since my son died was to be connected with the "other side."  Vivian said that a part of me is on the other side, that a part of me followed Graham to Heaven, that I am not a stranger there.  As soon as Vivian said these words, she felt they were a message for me.  A few days later she wrote this poem.  She says that she takes no ownership of this poem.  She knows that my son was the one who gave her the words for me.  Vivian writes poetry too, but this poem is not written in her style.  This poem is in my style of writing.  I believe this was a beautiful way that Graham used to validate the discussion Vivian and I were having.  This is so amazing and comforting to me. There is no greater power than love.

When you left this life for the other side,
There was so much in me that also died,
My heart followed you to Heaven’s door,
I am not a stranger there anymore.

I look for you in every evening sky,
Wondering how it looks to you from on high,
Dance with me among the stars galore,
I am not a stranger there anymore.

Staying connected to you with the passing of time,
My soul understands life’s rhythm and rhyme,
Bonded by love to the child I bore,
I am not a stranger there anymore.

When the journey is over and the time is ours,
And we meet together in a meadow of flowers,
Surrounded by glory never seen before,
I will not be a stranger there anymore.

Vivian West

For Claire Ann Stevenson
Thank you, Graham.

Spirit Essence

A few weeks ago we had this lovely water garden constructed in a very special area of our backyard.  Graham was the one who originally made this area into a garden for us, laying down weed cloth and gravel and planting some of the bushes and flowers - this earlier post shows him at work - http://amotherstears.blogspot.com/2010/05/with-us-in-spirit.html.  Four months after doing this he died in a tragic accident.  This area then became his memorial garden.

When the water garden was finished, we were taking pictures of it and this one had a glowing white and orange form for which we have no "normal" explanation.  There was nothing reflective in that area, no light source there, and the sky was overcast so it couldn't be lens flare.  I believe that it is pure energy, my son's spirit essence.  Graham shows us in many different ways that death does not end our relationship with loved ones.  Our loved ones in spirit remain with us always, because love and spirit never die.

Eternal Bonds

My soul screamed when I learned you were dead,

My body felt like it had been bled,

Life as I knew it no longer applied,

Everything changed the day you died.

What is my direction, where do I go?

There is so much that I don’t know,

I long to fly, to swoop and to soar,

Beyond this world up to heaven’s door.

I am listening, and working to see,

What is within divine possibility,

Death cannot sever our eternal bond,

Love is forever and will keep me going on.

Graham's Memorial Water Garden

Five years ago Graham did a lot of work for my husband and me in a section of our back yard.  A few months later this section of our yard became Graham's memorial garden.  I posted pictures of Graham and a poem that I wrote about this earlier on this blog -
http://amotherstears.blogspot.com/2010/05/with-us-in-spirit.html

Last week Graham's memorial garden became even more special.  We had it transformed into a beautiful water garden with the addition of two lovely waterfalls and a koi pond.  The azalea bushes, day lilies, and phlox that were originally planted are all still there, they were just rearranged.  We are delighted with this water feature!  Graham always thought a pond would be nice to have in our yard.  He also liked the idea of having koi fish.  What a wonderful, healing connection this is with Graham.  It is an oasis of solace for us.

The Honey Trees - Love and Loss

This is a poignantly beautiful song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2k2nvD0VmA

We had our house built and moved to Fredericksburg in April of 2005, 7 years ago. One of the first things that Graham did when we moved in was to plant several of his apple trees in our back yard. As part of a Biology class project his senior year in high school Graham had to grow something. He decided to plant the seeds from an apple that he ate for this project. Graham took care of these seeds in the Biology lab at his high school. Amazingly, they grew. They looked like twigs when he brought them home at the end of the year. They stayed in pots for the following year until we moved to our new home. This is a picture of Graham in April of 2007 pruning one of his trees. The trees had never bloomed. Graham died 5 months after this picture was taken. The following spring his apple trees had blossoms for the first time! Now it is April 2012. Look at this same tree now. It is 8-10 feet tall and covered with blooms! Who could have realized what a precious gift these trees would turn out to be? Thank you, Graham. You are always with us. We love you.

I Hear You

I Hear You

I can hear you in silence,

Or in confusion and noise,

I hear you now and forever,

In life’s tragedies and joys.

I listen for you always,

 Although I cannot see,

Your physical self as before,

When you were here with me.

You speak to me in whispers,

In thoughts that cross my mind,

Or in flashes of inspiration,

With words that flow and rhyme.

Your signs and validations,

The messages I receive,

Ignite my creative energies,

And help me as I grieve.

Love is never ending,

Our bodies are only form,

You are teaching this important lesson,

For those of us who mourn.

With your partnership in spirit,

I am finding solace for my pain,

Love is always the answer,

 The destination for us to aim.

You are a blessing beyond measure,

My treasured son and friend,

You show that crossing over,

Does not mean a relationship ends.

Love is like a circle,

In joy we both will fly,

We are bonded forever,

Because a soul can never die.